The smokin’ gun

OK everyone, I owe all and sundry big apologies because it’s been nearly a month since I blogged. And my last post was a bit brief, the one before that my usual moany return to form.

So, while I am at my desk at work and have absolutely shedloads to be doing (it’s Thursday afternoon as well – the clock’s a’ tickin’ till the weekend baby!), I’m determined to post an update on what’s been going on – because the work that needs to be done will still need to be done and it always will – that’s the nature of work innit?

Anyway, as you can see, I am STILL at work and it’s partly because of the extremely unsettling and uncertain time I’ve endured here recently that I’ve been keeping schtum – as it turns out my job is safe. For now. That’s all anyone can say at the moment isn’t it?

Anyway, big news. I’ve given up smoking! Yes, that’s right – don’t faint from surprise or snort knowingly to yourself, “ahh she’ll be back, I know it, that girl loves a snout!”. Yes, me and fags are over. O V A H.  (I mean of course the fags you smoke not the fags who are fabulous).

It’s been unsurprisingly difficult, and I won’t talk you through the usual soulbashing I went through to do it, but as you would imagine, withdrawal has been quite hellish. It seems that I have quite a few unresolved rage issues (who’d have thunk it?!) and I have been variously filled with almost uncontrollable venom, spite, bile and plain old teeth gnashing frustration over the smallest of irritations, issues and mishaps. I know you love a list (well I do, anyway), so here it comes. It’s a special list of some Dubai-specific things that have made me mad, cross and angry in the 13 days I have been smoke-free:

– Road rage. An oldie but a goodie. It seems that pretty much anyone in Dubai who owns a car and drives got their license from a special offer on the back of a Weeties packet (Weetabix to the Brits) . I was involved in an incident only a week ago involving a blonde in a Jeep who had man hands. Yes, you read that right. Man hands – I noticed them because the silly bint was effectively curb crawling in front and to the right of my vehicle at about  minus 5 kmh. I leaned on my horn for about a minute but it appears that she was not only unable to drive, she also had issues with her hearing. This forced me to miss the traffic lights, bringing me to my next point –

– Traffic lights. A specific set of traffic lights (well, there’s a set of THREE in a row) on the relatively short Burj Boulevard near my house. I absolutely have to use this road on my way home from work to get to the apartment. There is no alternative. The RTA (who I have mentioned before) have inexplicably decided that there will be such a vast amount of cars coming in and out of the Dubai Mall at all times of the day (even 3 o’ clock in the morning when it’s closed) that each light cycle should take five minutes. Doesn’t seem like a long time does it? But it’s aeons for traffic lights, trust me. In addition, for this set of three lights on this road that is less than half a mile long, all of the lights are coordinated so if you miss one, you miss all three. Hence, it can take up to 15 minutes to go 500 yards. I could definitely get there faster walking on my hands and knees across broken glass

– Last minute changes to Bank Holidays. Yep, in DXB, someone can just suddenly decide that what would normally be a public holiday (in this case, the Prophet Mohammad’s birthday – Peace Be Upon Him). For as long as anyone can remember, this auspicious day has fallen on the 9th March. Not this year folks, apparently, it’s now going to be on Saturday the 7th March. A weekend! Thanks Ministry of Labour – that’s very generous of you!

– The lack of pavements for pedestrians. It’s no wonder people are obese, there’s nowhere to walk outside without risking your life. All the skinny people have been mown down by bad drivers. Getting out of the car in the morning and walking 20 metres my place of work brings a whole new and exciting dimension to my morning commute

– The lifts in my building. Why oh why, in a bank of three lifts, two of which are chillin’ their boots on the ground floor, do I have to wait for the third lift to descend from the penthouse on the 37th floor to come and get me from the basement – just two floors below the ground floor? Anyone know a lift engineer that can explain this to me?

Now, I think we all know these things would irritate me anyway, ciggies or not, but I have nearly burst blood vessels in my forehead this last fortnight over many petty irritations such as these. I guess it’s better than bursting arteries and having a heart attack though, right?

Send me good vibes to be strong, people – this sure is difficult.

Flickster. x

Update: Sunday 8th March. Had a bit of a mishap at the weekend – I smoked two cigarettes at a very boozy brunch. I know – shame on me – weak person! They did taste horrible though, and I haven’t had any since then, does that count? 😦

Snapshot on today: 15 Jan 09

I suddenly realised this morning that I’ve been a bit slack on my blog of late, after the Wii fit shocker of late last year. I have been busy with work and what-not as well as sticking rigidly to a daily yoga regime (well done me!) and it seems to be paying off, though unfortunately what no one tells you is that by using Wii Fit every day, you get the added bonus of having all the attendant music for all your fave activities stuck in your head, on a loop, every waking hour.

This week, I am mostly hearing: Wii Fit yoga “hold that pose” music in my head. Over and over and over and over…

Today, I am mostly feeling: relieved that it’s Thursday – it’s been a very hard week and I’m really feeling the pressure 😥

I don’t really feel like blogging this week, so that’s all! Laters.

Flickster. x

Snapshot on today: 16 Dec 08. Ho Ho Ho…

Eeek. Sometimes when you haven’t done what you should normally on a regular basis eg. go to the gym, call your mum, bathe – it all just seems so hard to get back in there and get into the groove again. This is the case with my blog – yeah – I know it’s been ages since my rant on furniture, but it’s been a hectic time, folks. The end of the year always is, innit?

Anyway, I do actually have quite a lot to say this week – not least because we went back to toenail-snappingly freezing Blighty for a visit last week – but rather boringly, I am quite stacked with work. And it’s quite naughty to be blogging away at your desk with the office door shut when you should be doing any number of work-related thingies, such as running QA tests on new websites, replying to emails from your boss, setting up interviews and filling in your expenses sheet before year end hits. So, in the spirit of holiday giving (don’t mention Chrimbo here my mateys – it’s almost as if it doesn’t exist!), here’s my snapshot:

This week, I am mostly missing: my absent friends and family

Today, I am mostly loving: my new car. She’s a beauty – I drove her today for the first time in weeks, as PD has been hogging her (but giving me lifts to and back from work, so I can’t complain). Finally obtaining our new camera means I took a picture of her parked proudly in the sandpit this morning – I’ll post it up shortly when I work out how to upload

This week, I am mostly hating: my slow internet connection at work. Hurry up and load d*mn you!!

Flickster. xx

Snapshot on today – 13 Oct 08

Today I am mostly loving: the fact we have found a new apartment! Yes! We move in on the 24th of October. My nesting instinct can now be revived! More news and pics soon…

…And that my visa is imminent – I had my ‘medical’ today and blood test (urgh) – full post on this experience to come later in the week

Today I am absolutely hating: the fact that I bumped the hire car AGAIN (I cracked a tail light this time and the vertical dent is huge). It’s parking in the sandpit – I hate hate hate it!!!

…And the fact that my whole work week is chocka with meetings – which means I have no time to do any of the work that the meetings themselves create

Things that are different, Part 2

So I’ve got a few more bits that I can add to my list, but there should also be a section on Things that are the same, but a bit different (see the end of this post)

• It takes longer to get things done. By this I mean, day to day work – waiting for people to come back to me on various things is becoming a little frustrating. As I am already fairly impatient this is an enduring lesson and I am being tested. Of course, it could be because I’ve moved from a very small company to a large one, but I still think it’s annoyingly slow; it’s also slow to get official paperwork sorted (made worse by the fact that it’s Ramadan and some people use this as an excuse to become lazy). One month in, I am still waiting on my visa. Without my visa I cannot do the myriad of things I need to do to get on with my life. This segues nicely into the next point
• You need a visa to: buy a car, open a bank account, get a mobile phone contract, rent a property, blow your nose (ok I just made that one up)
• You need to supply copies of your passport for virtually everything, including purchasing a pay-as-you-go sim card and registering your cat with the municipality
• Internet connections here are S L O W (well, not as bad as the bad old days of dial-up, but still – 2Mb broadband is the best you can get)
• There are no off licenses/bottle shops – I think you probably already know that, but just picture the scene in my gaff: If you have six bottles of white wine (obnoxious juice) in your fridge that you bought duty free, then there’s no, “Oh shall we have some wine with dinner?” And you just pop down the offie for some OJ and choccie on your way home from work every night. It’s more like, “Oh shall we have a wine with dinner? Ah, actually perhaps not – best to ration it for the weekend. Let’s hope they bring a bottle!” Or, “Oh no, we drank all the wine at the weekend – what are we going to do now??”
• Apropos of the point above – in the next emirate along plus one, there is an infamous warehouse that sells a cornucopia of booze. Said place is named after a particularly vicious species of Australian fish beginning with “B”. People (expats) go on runs to this place in the early mornings of the weekend, stock up the back of their 4WDs, cover their stash with a generous blanket and drive back very carefully to Dubai – if you get caught by the police, you will go to jail
  
• Sorry, i just had to “strike through” that point above as we do not want the place to get shut down because of a “leak” in the “press”!

Things that are the same, but different:

• Power points are standard three-pin plug holes that take UK plugs – that’s great for all the electrical goods you’ve brought with you from home. But, if you buy an appliance here, they usually have a cr*ppy two-pin plug which will then need an adaptor – apparently, it’s because they import a lot of electricals from the far east. It’s a pain

Having read the above, I betcha can tell that the honeymoon is over, baby. But that’s ok – I do still like it here. And now, I feel as if I’m being challenged – the whole point of why I decided to come here in the first place anyway.

Here’s a quick list of the things i do like, to finish off, just to keep the dream happy:

• The weather (it’s getting cooler now, but the humidity’s playing havoc with my hair)
• The working hours
• The fact I can go to the beach, or the pool if I want to
• I don’t have to wear a coat or jacket or carry an umbrella
• People are, generally, more friendly (except on the roads!)
• It’s tax free
• You can drive to the mall
• People dress up a bit to go out
• YOU CAN SMOKE IN BARS AND RESTAURANTS (I should have put this at the top, because it’s clearly my favourite)

Flickster. xx